Breaking News: Pluto is no longer a planet.
In a bold move, the International Astronomical Union has passed its judgement on the fate of our solar system's smallest and dearest planet. Because Pluto is smaller than our very own moon and has a drunken orbit that veers into that of neighbouring, and much less attractive, Neptune, Pluto has been stripped of its planetary title and has been demoted to the less sexy 'dwarf planet'.
I, for one, am appalled at the new decision. I went through elementary school knowing of the nine planets - not eight planets and a dwarf. Will the IAU's power go unchecked? What's next, will they decide that Jupiter is now a star? Will they decide that we can no longer be between Venus and Mars? What planet will women and men be from, respectively?
Either way, we will remember you fondly, Pluto.