Saturday, July 29, 2006

Confirmed... my dog is a great dane

I was at petsmart today with my sister to pick up something for our neighbours who just invited us over for a drink/dog play date tonight. We thought it would be nice to pick up a toy or some treats for their dog. We decided on a chilly bone, because I love the one I have and thought they'd enjoy it too. A chilly bone... is a canvas dog chew bone that you soak in water or whatever and freeze into a cool little treat for a hot day, really a good invention.

Anyways, Petsmart has dog training there as well and as we're walking by I see a dog that has the same goofy ass walk as Maddie and looks, except for coloring, identical in everyway. I asked him waht kind of dog it was and before I finished my own inquiry I knew that the next two words out of this stranger's mouth would be "Great Dane". Still, the news was taken with a sigh of relief... the woman at obedience is slightly less crazy than once suspected. I was thrilled that I now had a breed to associate my dog with. No longer is she lost in the depths of the gene pool... she has a history, a lineage... of some sort. My dog is not just a regular mutt... she's a great danish mutt.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Lives saved = billions

Today I convinced a guy not to kill himself and to stay on his meds over the phone. He was taking fluvoxamine and risperidone and was convinced that they were making him stupid. He claimed to have an above average intelligence but had been on these meds for over a year now and was concerned about how he could no longer read well or do simple math problems. The man had OCD and probably a whole schwack of conditions I didn't even scratch the surface of... but his obsessions seemed to dominate our conversation.

The man, we'll call B.J. (because they're funny initials, I never really knew his name)... wanted to discontinue his meds and wanted me to okay that decision without really knowing what was going on. I'm not a doctor and had no idea what his case involved and not only that... I have no fucking clue how most antidepressants work yet. His psychiatrist was apparently out of town for 7 months... which made me want to take up psychiatry... but I brought to his attention that maybe he should see another one in the city, her replacement or whatever. He replied that he didn't care for her and that she kept saying he was OCD although he didn't think he was, although to anyone who doesn't have Down's syndrome, it was apparent that he did. How to tell a crazy person that their doctor is correct in their diagnosis? I wish we learned that in school.

Check me out though, I eventually talked him into going back to his G.P. and not to off himself before his big speech that he had to give the next week. So, I'm taking credit for saving his life through a referral to someone who gets paid to exclusively deal with crazy guys like him.

Seriously though, I hope he's okay. he seemed really nice and I wish I got his contact info to call him back.

This story wasn't as good as I remember it being, or my story telling skills are lacking. Just pretend that was the best story you've ever read about me talking down a crazy dude. .... he had a bomb strapped to his chest or something and there were hostages... yeah, hostages.

The Great Power Outage of July/2006

The power went out sometime last night. It resulted in my alarm clock not going off... I really need a battery back up. I got to work an hour late, and I'm sure I'm going to get severely reduced pay for it.... fuck I hate work, I should have taken the whole damn day. I had a good sleep in though, so I guess there's a brightside, eh?

The Great Power Outage of July/2006

The power went out sometime last night. It resulted in my alarm clock not going off... I really need a battery back up. I got to work an hour late, and I'm sure I'm going to get severely reduced pay for it.... fuck I hate work, I should have taken the whole damn day. I had a good sleep in though, so I guess there's a brightside, eh?

Monday, July 24, 2006

My Dog Smells Like a Great Dane

It has been a long standing mystery as to what breed(s) my dog, Maddie, contains in her ancestry. When I first adopted her from the SPCA in April she was labelled as a Rottweiler/Shepherd cross. She did indeed look like a rottie, with the markings and was about the right size. As time went on, however, she began to grow... and grow and grow and grow. Now at 85 lbs and 10 months old, she dwarfs all rotties she stands beside. Plus, she's skinny as all hell and her face is kind of long, not like a rottie at all.

So, since she isn't what she seems, or seemed, there has been a lot of speculation. No wI don't know if people are familiar with certain breeds... but a few that have been suggested to me are : australian cattle dog, labrador retriever, border collie, short haired newfoundland (wtf..) and my all-time favorite, the Great Dane.

We were at Paws N Train for our weekly obedience lesson when one of the instructers came up to my sister, dog and I and said "I have to ask you a weird question, but can I smell your dog?"
My first response was "What the hell?" but then my curiosity took over and I allowed her to pick up my dog's scent. She inhaled a deep, sensuous breath and exhaled with her eyes closed... and then it came "Yep, just as I thought, she smells just like a Great Dane."

I was confused... this woman was saying my dog had a specific scent? I've heard that some breeds have a characteristic bark or walk, but scent? She continued on about how she raises Great Danes and how my dog looks just like one, with the noble head and peculiar way of sitting (she puts her ass on everything! the couch, my bed, she likes to sit with her feet on the floor and her ass on a chair or whatever). There really isn't too much more to this story, but I hope I got across my point that my dog smells like a Great Dane, cause check her out, apparently she does.

Still hot

I sure like to bitch about the heat... but even the rain doesn't seem to be cooling it down. I stink...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A mistake.

I just want to tell people out there... ipecac syrup is not something to be used on friends. Seriously, originally I thought a funny story might result from putting ipecac in a friend's drink, but it turned out terrible. Joey ended up in the hospital for dehydration after puking for 6 hours. I feel terrible and that was probably the most poorly thought out thing I've ever done.

I'm a douchebag...


Fuck me is it ever hot out... my indoor temp maxed out at 34.3 degrees today, I need an air conditioner, or I don't know what but its not cool to leave the fridge door open anymore, thats running up the power bill. Ha..

My new vice

On Tuesday I had a day off and had a doctor's appointment and a massage... an hour long orgasm of a massage from the excellent hands of Chrystal at Central Ave...
Anyways, afterwards I was driving home and felt like I needed a vice... something classy to do with my time and something that would give me a satisfying taste experience. I went to Smoke and Ashes on Circle drive with the intent to explore my flavor options. The man behind the counter was a friendly guy who looked like he had had more than his share of years of smoking, if you can visualize what I'm trying to describe. He asked me what I was looking for and I said I was a pipe virgin and needed to be shown the ropes. He was helpful and directed me to a filter pipe which apparently prevents mouth burn. I picked one out and he said it was a good choice.
Next we moved on to the tobacco. He opened up the jars on the wall and let me smell them all. Some smelled pretty damn good but I had to narrow it down to one... I can't be rushing into it all at once, need to take some baby steps towards this new habit. I settled on an aromatic cherry tobacco and he gave me 50 grams, which is a lot more than I thought... I'm terrible at that sort of thing.
After I made my purchase I rushed home and entered flavor country. Still trying to get the hang of it, but the internet has a plethora of sites that teach one how to smoke a pipe... practice makes perfect.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Deep fried chocolate... a taste of Saskatchewan?

Went to Taste of Sask last night down by the river. It was pretty good and I had never been before so had to see what the big deal was all about. We decided that a deep fried Mars bar would be the best thing to have first and so we headed over to the Wingnuts booth to get one.

This calorie log looks like a corn dog with powdered sugar on it. The first bite was good, and the second... but then I started to realize what the fuck it was I was eating -- a melted chocolate bar wrapped in batter. I would have been just as satisfied to eat a stick of butter. This thing sat in my stomach like a brick and the thought of another one would have made me hurl. So, we moved on and had a bit of ginger chicken and finished off with some saskatoon pie. It was pretty good all in all.

The best part was this old dude dancing... I can't really describe it, but lets just say I couldn't take my eyes off his fresh, bold moves. Yuck.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My Dog Kicks Ass

We're on the fourth week of our obedience classes at Paws N Train and doing awesome. My dog is definitely the best dog there.... for most things. She's awesome at sit, stay, down, walking on the loose leash and attention. I thought she was good at come, but apparently I was a little overconfident in her skills. The chick brings out a rabbit in a little cage and tried to distract the dogs with it while they were supposed to be coming towards us.... Maddie didn't even look at me, she just went straight to the lil bunny. This other dog, "Rocky", completely dominated in the drill and showed us up. I figure its okay though cause this dogs owner (or 'dad' as he likes to be called... gross) is this albino guy with a shaved head and apparently no friends or social skills and that he has nothing else to do but spend his day getting his dog to come to him.

Anyways, back to Maddie kicking ass -- I took off her head halter thing to walk around on just her collar. Normally this results in pulling and distraction, but I think I'm getting the hang of this clicker thing and she's paying attention to me and walking pretty well. A bit more work and I'm back on top with my number one bitch.

More to come on obedience and how much the other dogs suck.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Trip to Shoppers

My sister has a piece of apple stuck in her nose from my delicious apple crisp. It has been stuck there since supper and apparently pissing her off. We went down to Shoppers to get some nasal spray to clear it out and I picked up a magazine to read as well.

Everything went smoothly till we came out to the explorer to get ready to go. We had brought my dog along because she likes car rides. Anyways, she was sitting in the driver seat and when we moved her we saw the car seat was wet and it stank real bad. I think her anal glands released a bit of a present on the seat which is pretty gross but I'm sure she feels better.

So we're trying to determine whether or not its pee or some other liquid and my sister is looking down at the seat. I see off in the distance a broke ass looking lady walking over towards us... stumbling really. She's weaving while she walks and I'm hoping she isn't coming over, but my fears come true. I try to catch my sister's attention without announcing the strangers arrival but she is still caught up in the mystery of the wet spot on the seat. Suddenly the woman taps my sister on the shoulder and my sister jumps and I was pretty sure she was going to straight arm this elderly bag lady in the jaw. However, the mysterious woman hands her a card which probably stated her sob story, but my sister was visibly shaken (although I think the chick was blind or something sad, so she didn't 'visibly' notice) so she said something about not having any change and we took off.

I think the apple is still in her nose though, I'll keep you posted.

Day Off

I had today off of work from the Drugstore which was pretty good, needed a break. Caught up on a bit of sleep and some tv before my sister and I figured out what we needed to get some crap for the windows in the new house - I'm getting pretty sick of my neighbours catching free peeks of the goods.. they should pay like everyone else. Anyways, we get to the Home Depot and realize we forgot the measurements and the chick inside already gave us the low down on how she won't put up with careless shit like forgetting measurements. Consequently, we decide to come back later and I decide I need to get some sunglasses cause its fucking bright out here lately (summer's a real bitch) so we head to the ol' 8th street mall to go shopping. We went into one store to check some stuff out and I wasn't feeling particularly chatty, but the employees there were on me like flies on a dead kid... I know its their job but when I tell them I'm just browsing its not an invitation to continue to talk.

So I buy a new a bunnyhug, it was so soft it really lives up to the name, but unfortunately in the sweltering heat I can't quite bring myself to wear it yet, but one day I will experience the rush of wearing that thing.

We move on and head downtown to the mall there. I decided on getting a nice pair of spy sunglasses at about 150 bucks. I don't see the value there, but damned if I'm not in love with them. The chick working there was good too, she knew her shit, I love it when people at stores pay attention to me and help me get what I need, weird how those girls back at the other store got on my bad side, but thats how I roll.

Moving onto American Eagle I bought a few new pairs of underwear. I think I'm going to make a full switch to boxers from the traditional boxer brief. It may be a summer thing, but a breeze blowing up my pants is better than anything I can imagine. Airy, thats a word I like to use when describing the feeling in my pants as of the moment I put them on.

After that excursion I headed over to Sears cause I saw a sale on duvets... Now I never knew what a duvet was before I saw them in the flyer that appears on my doorstep 3 nights out of the week between 11 pm and 1 am but I was intrigued. So I inquired with my sister and foudn out she had such a thing and felt how soft it was. I don't want to insinuate that I need soft and dainty things next to my skin, but this thing is like hugging a silk bag full of kittens. I bought one and love it. More to come on the kick ass dreams I'll have in my new digs.

Supper was pretty good too, had some bbq'd pork chops with ginger teriyaki marinade and baked potatoes. Finished it up with some apple crisp baked by me, which was so delicious that I thought I would throw it up just to eat it again. I just had another piece instead.

That brings us to now, where my dog is staring at me, and walking around looking for shit to eat. I feed her and feed her but yet she always wants more. Big dog though, crowding 80 lbs now, and tall as a miniature horse. Love that dog, she's the smartest bitch in obedience class.

Probably enough for now, so read it again and digest the material in this post... savor it like my delicious apple crisp. There may be seconds coming soon.