Wednesday, June 18, 2008


So I work with a troll. I'm sure you all recall stories from your childhood about a troll who lived under a bridge. Well she's gotten a day job at my pharmacy... bridge prices are just as crazy as house prices in Regina these days!

Its not so much that she's a bad person, but she stinks. She smells like if I put out a dozen cigarettes in a can of rotten fish. And then that can of butts didn't bathe since the late 90's.

She was hired because all of our good staff left for better pay, which I don't fault them for, but we were so hard up that we hired the first thing that came in. Actually, thats not true, the first two resumes we got were from our benzo addicted patients - no thank you.

Still, this troll has zero work ethic (I have a degree that exempts me from sweeping floors, whats her excuse?) and has the nerve to complain about how we work her so hard. But its the coughing that really drives me nuts. She hacks her lungs up at least 25 times per shift. And she hates me because I don't talk to her.

So my gracious manager has been keeping me on different shifts than her for the past few months, which I'm very thankful for. However, my manager hates her coughing and hacking and wheezing as much as I do and confronted her the other day.

Manager: You wouldn't be coughing so bad if you quit smoking you know.
Troll: Oh, its not my smoking... I've really cut back, its just that certain smells bother me.
M: Oh really, what sorts of smells.
T: Well certain odors, or perfumes.... sometimes the customers smell and it makes me cough
M: What about when you're back here counting pills? No one has any smells.
T: Well, Mike has a smell about him... it really makes me sick.

Yes... the woman who smells like a poorly maintained manure pile has the audacity to accuse me of stinkage! To hell with her, I say. I had, up till now, maintained an air of professionalism with her and just ignored her unintelligent babble and laziness but now I'm gonna turn up the bitch.

I'm just trying to come up with a stinging commentary on her 'badly cut' mullet that can be delivered as a one liner. I'm open to suggestions.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

F*cking Cold

So, as you may or may not have noticed, its f*cking cold out. (I don't know why I used the * in place of the u because I normally use the f word like a hooker uses crack on this blog).

I just got in from a walk in the blustery weather that has graced our fair capital city as of late. It is -23 degrees (Celsius for you American folk) but feels like -33 with the wind chill. I don't know how they figure out what it 'feels like' although I'm sure there's a completely logical explanation. However, I don't care. I imagine it goes something like this.

Scientist #1: How cold is it out there?
Scientist #2: I dunno, its fucking cold, probably about -33 degrees.
Scientist #1: Eureka!

And they do it with snotty British accents and instead of saying 'minus thirty three' they would say 'negative thirty three'. You know how they are.

So anyway, I just about froze my face off. However I'm not as bitter about winter yet as I was last year around this time. I think its because I'm living downtown and seeing all the big ol' trees that look all pretty in the winter time. Small things like that get me through.

Moral of the story... if you want to just about die because you've underdressed like a moron but yet still feel the need to walk far enough way from your house that you know you might not make it back alive yet still want to be amazed at the beauty that is winter, then walk through Regina. We have it all!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Bobby Flay is Awesome

I know that there probably aren't a lot of people out there who follow the Food Network as religiously as I do (every waking hour that isn't spent at work) which means that many of you are probably missing out on the awesomeness that is Iron Chef Bobby Flay.
This man is not only the best Iron Chef... which may be contested by some of those in the Mario Batali camp, but they can go fuck themselves... but he's an awesome guy too. How do I know this you ask? I've made up some scenarios and have made decisions based on how I thought he would react. Such as:

1. An orphanage is burning down and the children can't get out because their scurvy is so bad that they can't even stand up. Luckily Iron Chef Flay is around, he's made up a succulent lamb kebab braised in a lemon broth and covered with shaved black truffles. This helps to nourish the children and provides much needed ascorbic acid (vitamin C to losers like you) and protein to mobilize their sorry unloved carcasses out of the burning building. Good one Chef Flay!

2. A bus full of nuns is taken hostage by Colombian guerillas. Chef Flay arrives on the scene and prepares a feast that starts off with a lobster tartar, and poached eggs in red wine, then moves into a robust swordfish steak with peanut and mango glaze. He finishes it off with a smooth and delicate jalapeno ice cream (cause its not Bobby Flay without spice). Knowing that the Colombian rebels are deathly allergic to shellfish, peanuts and also lactose intolerant he has foiled their plan and the nuns are free to return to the convent and will live to pray another day. No one gets by Iron Chef Flay!

3. The nation is attacked by terrorists with a so called 'dirty bomb' and we're vulnerable to high levels of radiation and increased risks of cancer! Iron Chef Flay to the rescue where he prepares the most savoury banana split ever witnessed. Knowing that what we need now is a mega dose of potassium to prevent our bodies from picking up radioactive K+ Chef Flay has saved the day yet again.

So clearly, Bobby Flay is probably the greatest hero since Gandhi. Wait, Gandhi went on a hunger strike. He so would have caved had he been present in Kitchen Stadium... and therefore Bobby Flay beats Gandhi... take that India.

In conclusion, Bobby Flay is awesome.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


I grew some hot effin peppers!

This year I tested my green thumb by growing some hot peppers. And, due to my usual procrastination and typical laziness, I waited until the garden centres were just about to shut their doors to buy my start up plants. Thus, my peppers are just now maturing... with a few more plants still in bloom, I know, sad.

Anywho, the jalopenos have taken off the best and have produced a few spicy little beauties for me in all shades of green and red, like the devil's Christmas tree. Tonight, we made a salad for supper, cause I'm all health conscious and shit, and since we had this pile of hot peppers sitting on the window sill, like all of my produce, we added them into the salad.

Lets just say that a tossed salad should be tossed a little better when jalapenos are involved. I think I ate two whole peppers out of the bottom of my bowl.

I dread tomorrow.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Seniors Drug Plan Sucks

"Under the Seniors' Drug Plan, all Saskatchewan residents 65 years of age and older are eligible. Seniors will be automatically covered based on Health Registration Card information; no application is required. The program will go into effect on July 1, 2007.
Low-income seniors receiving the Guaranteed Income Supplement, Saskatchewan Income Plan or Special Support coverage who currently pay less than $15 per prescription will continue to do so. Palliative care patients and those covered by Saskatchewan Aids to Independent Living (SAIL) will continue to receive Saskatchewan Formulary drugs at no cost."

-from the Government of Saskatchewan website

The Saskatchewan Prescription Drug Plan will cost Saskatchewan taxpayers $262,485,000 this year, up from $201,936,000 last year (from:,1,Documents&MediaID=973&Filename=07-08-Finance-BudgetEstimates-En.pdf). Although I couldn't find a breakdown of how much this $15 plan will cost the taxpayers, as a pharmacist, let me tell you thats it a lot.

Now, I don't have a problem with paying for necessary medications, in fact I'm all for ensuring that people have quick and affordable access to necessary drugs. So whats my problem with this new drug plan aimed at those over 65? They already had a system set up for lower income families who needed the subsidy. No one in Saskatchewan should want for medications... there has been a formula for years that compares how much you make to your drug expenditures and ensures that you get access to those medications. So if these seniors actually needed a medication to live but couldn't afford it, the government paid for it already. This new drug plan isn't really helping anyone and its costing us millions of dollars that could go to other causes, such as helping those with mental illness, community healthcare and education about preventing disease.

Many seniors have a large bank account to begin with, they don't need the government's help to pay for their Lipitor or Pariet. Of course they appreciate it, which shows that this is simply a vote buying tactic. Schizophrenic people don't vote in numbers like the penny pinching seniors, now do they, so why would we spend money on them?

As far as the launch of this program goes, the government effed it up too. Watching ads on this plan and reading articles, one would expect that if you're over 65 all you will have to pay is 15 bucks for anything. Most people don't understand what the formulary is or care to learn about it. So they get pissed when certain medications, Viagra, for instance, aren't covered by this new plan. They get pissed that they have to pay $15 for each medication, not just their total for the month, and they don't understand why the pharmacist is ripping them off.

Yes, we, the pharmacists who are helping you get your medications are ripping you off. Maybe the government should have explained that the formulary is a list of drugs that they will pay for. Drugs that are not listed in the formulary will not be covered. There is a seperate list called EDS drugs for which you need to be approved by Sask Health before you can receive these medications for $15. Where was that in the ads? Common medicines for the elderly such as alendronate, the PPI's, etc are generally listed as EDS drugs. Why were the public not informed of all the intricacies of the plan before it was rolled out? Why did the government not back up the pharmacists who were out there administering this plan? We're stuck looking like the bad guys, as if we're in charge of what they have to pay.

Also, people are now using more medications. Instead of trying cheaper alternatives, now they're all the same price, so lets take them all! Instead of preventing heart disease through lifestyle management, now you can treat it for the low low price of $15 per month! More money for another Big Mac, eh?

In summary, I think this is a stupid way to spend money. This program doesn't benefit the people who need it the most, it only benefits those who will vote NDP. I hope they scrap it soon, because right now we're cashing tomorrow's cheque to pay for the past. Stupid.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Where's the 'Profen?

You know what makes me laugh? Jokes... but also this... people who argue with the pharmacist about medications that they've just made up.

A lady did that obnoxious shaking of the box in front of our glass cage thing yesterday and asked "Where's the 'profen?". After she quit rattling the box at me I could clearly see that she was indeed holding up a box of generic ibuprofen.

"That is the ibuprofen, its our store brand Advil." I replied, somewhat annoyed... well, in my general tone.

"Yes, I know that, but I want just regular profen, not ibuprofen."

Before I burst out laughing in this poor woman's face another pharmacist went out to help her. Probably a good thing too, that store pushed my sanity to the edge.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

City Life

We were enjoying our leisurely Sunday afternoon this past week at a downtown coffee shop on a busy street having a good time. The crowd was bustling by and the patio of the coffee shop was pretty busy, when "Get out of my way, pedophile" could be heard over the din.

We swiveled around and saw a somewhat greasy looking woman with a backpack and sunglasses on, looking like an overgrown child, walking fairly quickly down the street. She was looking at the ground and completely by herself, yelling for this 'pedophile' to leave her alone. "I'm going to call the police, pedophile, leave me alone, pedophile!"

My first reaction was to watch what she was going to do and kind of chuckle about the situation, it was pretty funny. The other patrons were nervously laughing and one chick was relaying the sitch over the phone to her friend. Then it dawned on me that she, as someone was obviously mentally ill, or an actor, whatever, really believed that a pedophile was chasing her. That was kind of scary.

I can't imagine how this woman must get through life on a daily basis, filled with fear and seeing and hearing things that aren't real. No one to help her, but just laugh as she passes by. It made me sad that there wasn't a place for her to go, people to look after her.
Granted, I know damn well that there are services out there, but if there's one part of healthcare that is underfunded, in my opinion, its mental health services. Fuck the senior's discount, that money should go to help this lady get away from her demons.

Maybe I do have a soul, weird.

Sunday, September 9, 2007


Working yesterday at one of the little pharmacies I work at I had an interesting question.

"How much bleach is too much to drink?" asked the woman, who was a little hesitant in her question. I assumed her demeanor was due to the ridiculous nature of the question.

Not quite sure how to respond, I asked her "How much did you drink?"

"Well, to be honest, not a lot. I had a glass on my nightstand and took a drink, I thought it was water but spit it out as soon as I realized it wasn't." she replied.

"Well, I don't think you've done too much damage if you didn't swallow any, I'd say you should probably drink lots of water today though, just to dilute anything that may have gone down." I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about but hoped that I sounded confident enough to not scare her into going to poison control.

She left with a sheepish look on her face and we were both kind of laughing at the situation. It was pretty funny... no one was hurt, right? Lets hope.

Moral of the story: If you're going to leave a glass of bleach just lying around, maybe slap a label on it. Or... sniff whatever you're about to drink before you drink it.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Miserable Ass

Things like this make me chuckle.

Tales From the Pharmacy

I've been doing a lot of relief work at different pharmacies lately and have come across quite a variety of people. This latest tale takes place in a very busy community pharmacy where the third year student was busting her ass trying to keep up with the mound of Rx's waiting to be done.

The phone rings, its a jack ass doctor calling in a prescription for one of his jack ass patients. (Actually it turns out she was a sweetheart of a patient, but the doctor, still a jack ass). The student answers the phone and states that she is a student, and assures the doc that she can take the Rx over the phone. When he tells her to just 'renew them all for a year' she asks which ones. He rambles off some list spoken in broken English with a thick accent and probably with his mouth full of Big Mac... cause thats how these doc's roll. We can tell that she's flustered by this crappy method of renewals but hangs up the phone and frantically goes through the profile trying to find out which ones he meant.

The other pharmacists and I hate this kinda shit... and decide that if he wants to renew his Rx's he can sign a piece of paper and fax it to us. We print off the entire profile and ask him to do exactly that... it turns out to be 7 pages long. Within minutes the phone rings again and I answer to a very irate doctor saying that he's exhausted with dealing with people who don't know what they're doing and he's irritated with having to do so much work. He states that our student was not vigilant enough and that she must improve her vigilance if she plans on getting ahead. I reply that his list was quite long and that we prefer to have them state each medication and directions before hanging up, you know, for patient safety's sake. Thats why we faxed it over, so we could be sure thats what he meant.

He said that the patient brought in a list and he just ok'd them, and that he wasn't sure what the list was anymore cause she took the list back. I then asked him to tell me again what meds he wanted her on to which he replied "How the hell am I supposed to know what she should be on?" and hung up. So much for vigilance.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

It's Been A While

But I'm not dead.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead, but simply haven't put out a new blog in quite some time. Is blogging 'over'? Has the fad passed, or to some of you... did it ever really exist?

Well, yes, it was dorky, and remains so. But I think I will have to share my wisdom with the world yet again, and this is the easiest means to do so. Hopefully I'll update soon.

Stay tuned!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Pharmacy Joke

Three pregnant women are sitting in their gynecologist's office waiting for their appointments. They are each knitting a sweater for their baby. The first woman opens up her purse takes out a tablet and swallows it. The other women ask, "What was that?" to which she replies "Folic acid, its good for the baby."

The second woman opens up her purse and takes out a tablet. Looking at her fellow waiting room friends she says "It's calcium, its good for both the baby and me." The mothers to be return to their knitting.

Some time later the third woman picks up her purse and pops a pill. The other ask her, "What was that, minerals? vitamins? supplements?" To which she replies "No, its Thalidomide... I'm terrible at making sleeves."

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Viva Las Vegas

We're heading to Las Vegas for one last break before I convocate and have to hit the daily grind at the Drugstore. I've never been to Vegas before, and actually haven't been to the US since I was four and took a weekend trip down to Minot, North Dakota. Although that was the pinnacle of my existence up until now, it shall be replaced with the Vegas adventure.
We'll be staying in the fabulous Stratosphere hotel for four nights. The hotel has the tallest observation tower in the US or some stupid thing like that... but on top, there's rides and shit. I'm pretty excited.

Also, I'd like to see Wayne Newton, because look at him, he's freakin Wayne Newton. I don't actually know any of his songs, but I've always identified him as being from Las Vegas. I'm hoping to get a picture with him, or Celine Dion, maybe both of them, in a headlock. Yeah, that'd be sweet.

We're also going to a Cirque Du Soleil show "Ka" (although I think there's some weird French accent in there, but I don't want to put it in). No experience with this 'circus' but I'm sure it'll be a memorable experience.

I'm hoping there's hookers too... lots of hookers.

And... is there anything I absolutely must see? Let me know.


I've finished all the req's to be a pharmacist now. I really should be studying for my licensing exams (the dreaded PEBC/OSCE) but as per usual my hands off approach seems to prevail. Luckily for me Saskatchewan offers a conditional license, so failing won't hinder my job at all. Just kidding, I'm gonna kick ass on this exam.
Actually, for the past few days I was assessing the personal profile portion of the pharmacy entrance exam. To say that the submissions inspired me would be a lie, but lets pretend it did. As I finish up my univeristy degree these little whippersnappers (of which I'm sure 80% are older than me) are just trying to start theirs. I guess one could find inspiration in that, so I'll be that person for today. Maybe its the sunshine, or the LSD, but I'm just kind of in a good mood.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

In Response to "Rambling Dave"

I figured it was time for an update despite my impending exam this afternoon. Rambling Dave apparently commented on my last post and I figured this would be a good topic for a post. I copied and pasted it here for your reading convenience:

Rambling Dave said...
Mike,I was refered to your blog by a listener.Three thoughts for you (although, I am an ass clown so it seems unlikely that you will give them much consideration)... (1) I am not anonynous when I sling it.(2) There is an off button. (3) You will have more impact with less vitriol. Radio is a funny business. It's free to the user. But, I think that because it's music which tends to be very personal people get really worked up about it. If we are not to your taste, don't listen. One of the problems in a community the size of ours is that there are not enough radio stations to serve everyone's taste.Regards,Rambling
5:58 AM

And here is my response:

Rambling Dave, although I think you are an ass clown I will give your comment due consideration as I'm always considerate of my readers, yes, all five of them. Anyway, I find your comment to be a little lacking in thought. First, I'm not anonymous and if need be I could 'sling' this publicly, I really think you are that unfunny. Although there is an 'off button' if you read earlier up in my post you would see that I don't have other listening options and as much as I hate to say it, you may be the lesser of the evils. No wait, thats not true, I just like to bitch. As for your third point I am not here to make an impact. I don't want you to lose your job or make some broad changes to Saskatoon's radio scene, this was just a rant on my little blog.

As for the limited options in such a small community, as you put it, I would point you to the radio stations in Regina which offer quite a diverse range of listening options. From the tragically unhumorous CC, Lori and Buzz to the antics of The Wolf and all the way down to the country spectrum, Regina offers many different types of shows and playlists. Further, according to the latest census Regina actually has FEWER people than Saskatoon! How could they have more radio stations if your argument is to hold water?

Clearly the only answer is that Saskatoon radio sucks. I don't enjoy your show and I don't think many people do, maybe you can do a Rambling Dave poll on that one. Either way, this was just a little rant on my little ol' blog, no need to get your panties in a knot.



Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Saskatoon Radio Sucks!

As if I didn't have enough reasons to want to leave Saskatoon, here's one more... radio. I'm a fan of music. Unfortunately I'm cursed with not having a compact disc player in my vehicle, or satellite radio. I do have an iPod radio thing, but thats a pain in the ass to set up for daily commutes. So I have no choice but to listen to the radio. The radio that is pumped into my car 24 hours a day, seven days a week for FREE! Well you get what you pay for.

But lets cut to the chase. Saskatoon radio is airwave vomit. If they held a competition to find the most annoying and socially retarded people in the country, they'd find Rob, Shawna and Ramblin' Dave. What kind of radio name is "Ramblin' Dave"? Might as well have picked 'Babblin' Bill' or 'Retard Russ'. Anyway, its not enough that I have to listen to the shitty light rock and teenage girl pop on my morning commute every day but those damned ass clowns keep interrupting my few moments of peace during KC's 'Since U Been Gone'. I don't fuckin' care how many pairs of shoes Shawna Foster or indeed, the entire city of Saskatoon has in their closet. I know Shawna's a douchebag regardless of the fact that she owns 50 pair. And Ramblin' Dave.. fyi... you don't know it all and if you want to end each 'Random Ramble' with a 'tip' make sure its a real fuckin tip. Advice usually ends with you suggesting something, not just crapping out of your disgusting mouth.
Ramblin' Dave definitely has a 'face for radio'
And onto Rock 102. I'm sorry, but you need to play rock music to qualify to be a rock station. That means no Avril Lavigne. She has her place, now learn yours. Also, who the hell named someone Gregger? or Gregor or whatever? Call yourself Greg because you effin' irritate me. Further, where is this 'Cast of Thousands' that you claim to have each and every morning? I'd like to hear what they have to say instead of your tired old stories day after friggin day. I almost feel that calling them radio 'personalities' is a fib.... and I'm no fibber.

The diarrhea icing on the shit cake that is Saskatoon's airwaves is 'Coffee Talk with Vic Dubois' Who is this guy and why is he being played every morning (and afternoon, as I found out today) with his monotone voice and lack of anything interesting to say? Everytime I hear his voice I want to honk my horn to drown him out, or swerve into oncoming traffic. No, actually, I'd rather hear Beyonce's 'Irreplacable' sung as a duet with Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried... and just the super annoying 'to the left' part all the way from my house to work than hear another one of those GD Coffee Talks.

"To the left, to the left... To the left, to the left.. To the left, to the left... To the left, to the left.. To the left, to the left.."

Oh, I forgot those Saskatoon Job Shop commercials. Your joke about the irritated boss eating donuts was mildly amusing the first time you played it. Weird how the four hundred times you play it each day doesn't add to that amusing quality. I'd rather be unemployed than search for a job with you. Go to hell.
So, as you can see, Saskatoon radio is balls. I'm excited to listen to some Chris and Ballsy in Regina... those guys are a good time. Funny how Regina can have such kick ass radio, but Saskatoon can't manage to muster up one decent 'personality'.
Anyway, I'm spent. I'm Mike, I know it all and this has been 'I hate Saskatoon Radio' rant.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Prejudice Tolerated is Tolerance Encouraged

From Perez Hilton's website... which is generally trash, well almost exclusively trash.... an actually decent article. Read it:

Fourth Ever Super Fantastic Caption Contest Spectacular!

You know the drill. Get to it.

Grand Prize: A date with me!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Okay, but don't let it happen again!

So spring may or may not have arrived. Y'all can tank me for giving Mother Nature a sternly worded warning... or you can tHank me... but either one works.

Anyway, to whoever controls the weather, whether it be the winds, the sun or some fat guy named El Nino, I'll let your cold ass April slide this year, but don't let it happen again, aight?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Feelings Toward Winter

I'm getting sick of this cold, miserable weather. Quit toying with me, Mother Nature, or I'm not going to feel so guilty the next time I leave the lights on, the car running, use old fashioned CFC spray cans, burn tires. Just kidding, global warming is bad, but so is being cold.