Sunday, October 29, 2006

God Bless You, Panda Bear

Thought this was kinda funny.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Thank You Fans

The Ultimate Guide to the Awesome has recently hit 1000 visitors. I'd like to thank myself for being so awesome, and then I guess the fans... although I don't really do it for you, I do it to let some of the crazy out. Anyways, keep on reading and I'll keep on posting.

You stay classy, internet fans.

Sexy Post

So I'm sure some of you have seen this video before, but I'm gonna post it anyways because its hilarious.

My favorite is the sexy 1900's steel conglomerate tycoon. So get the fuck down here cause I got shit over here I'm trying to fucking sell... big sale goin' on!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Long Time, No Post

stress  /strÉ›s/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[stres] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

8. physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension: Worry over his job and his wife's health put him under a great stress.
9. a situation, occurrence, or factor causing this: The stress of being trapped in the elevator gave him a pounding headache.

The above is an exerpt from's definition of stress. While the dictionary company here is correct in its example of stress, I could also volunteer some from my own personal experiences of the last week.

"The application for the residency was incomplete due to holds put on his account and he could therefore not get a copy of his transcripts. This placed undue stress on him."


"Not knowing where he'd be in less than two months due to a bumbling SPEP coordinator placed him under great stress."


"Twenty five group meetings and as many deadlines all within short notice made his hair start to fall out due to stress."

I could go on but I won't, because I'mg etting stressed out that none of them will be witty. Anyways, you get the fucking point --> I'm a little stressed with school lately. Classes and exams and group meetings, they suck balls. Fortunately within less than a month I will be sitting on a sunny, warm beach in Cancun sipping something bright with an umbrella in it. My only stress will be worrying how to get the sand out of the crevices it got itself into, or maybe how to get another drink without getting up. Ahhh, vacation.

Anywho, I'll keep ya posted in case I snap and decide to kill a busload of children. "He was always so quiet.." you'll say, "Wait, no, he told us beforehand, it was quite obvious he did it!"

P.S. I tried posting a pic of a family wearing naked costumes... it was quite weird, but this blogger thing sucks.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Fucking Snow

Sunday night I went to sleep to the sound of the wind through the window and the sight of fresh slushy snow falling on... everything. It soaked and froze and made slippery every thing under the ... ugly ass clouds, I guess since there wasn't any damned sun or moon. Monday morning I hopped out of bed to greet the day and do some last minute preparations for my midterm that was just hours away. Leaving the house with over an hour and half to go time I was a little unnerved to see that cars were not moving on the roads. Curious, I thought. Then it hit me, people in the city are pansies when it comes to driving in snow. It wasn't the least bit slippery but you throw some white shit down and the collective speed limit nears 5 km/hour.

A few F bombs later it was 8:30 and Lance had already missed his first class of the day while I dreaded writing a midterm that I needed more time to prepare for (love that last minute cram). Around 9:10 am I was still on the road, and moving approximately 1 car length every 5 minutes. I decided to take action. I called the college and told them I was going to be late. Feeling a little better that I wouldn't fail or run out of time I sat back as some bitch let a large trailer and then two small sedans in front of the ever growing line. I hope her children are born retarded.

Nearing the overpass of 108th and Circle I could see clear grey road ahead, yet no one was moving! It appeared as if people were outside their cars flailing about madly... perhaps even in.. yes, a fist fight. People were fighting in the street, backing up traffic for almost 10 blocks. I was not impressed as it was now 9:15 and I was a little anxious that I had been on the road for over an hour and travelled 12 blocks.

The fight eventually resovled and I was on my merry way, to hit rock bottom on a geriatric incontinence exam, good times, eh?

Morale: Stay in your fucking car and drive like you rented that thing. I don't care if there's 2 inches of snow, use your head, not your brakes.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Peter Griffin, You're Too Much

And this concludes procrastination hour in which yours truly has not cracked a single book! Stay tuned for next week when your hero fails his exams.

Baby Soup

This hearty soup will satisfy those hunger pangs that strike during the depths of midterms. It is high in protein and low in saturated fats. Baby's have long been used for their aphrodisiac properties, so keep that in mind when you're looking for a delicious broth to serve your honey on that cold winter night.

1-2 Fresh Infants: I prefer white meat, but for those who want a juicier meat, go with dark.
2 Peeled Potatoes, chopped
Sprig of fresh Rosemary
Salt and Pepper to taste

Boil pot of water over high heat. Drop in babies. They may make some noise, but thats completely normal, it means they're especially fresh. Add potatoes, rosemary and salt and pepper and simmer for 4 hours or until babies are soft.


Something Keeping Me Up At Night...

How the fuck did this guy get so GD creepy? I hope whatever hole birthed that abomination was sewed firmly shut to prevent another creep case like that getting loose on the world. Gives me chills. Although I bet he'd be good at selling stuff to kids.

If you ever come across him please kick him in the balls as part of my twelve step program to beautifying the nation. And ladies... the question is out there... How Many Beer?

Monday, October 9, 2006

The Greatest Rock Show On Earth


Yes, thats correct, I just returned from the Greatest Rock Show on Earth. The Rolling Stones definitely gave Regina and surrounding area a Bigger Bang on Sunday night (and presumbably Friday, although yours truly only attended the concert last night).

I was earlier a little hesitant to announce to the world that a broke ass student such as myself paid over 300 bucks to watch 60 something year olds play tunes from the 60's and 70's. After last night, however, I'd have to say that for being close enough to see each wrinkle on Keith Richards face and almost close enough to touch the Stones as they passed by on their hydraulic moving stage... it was worth every fucking dollar.

The show started with my sister, her friend, myself and a few others taking the bus down to Mosaic Stadium at Taylor Field via shuttle from Normanview Mall. We arrived around 4:10ish, Regina time. Seeing the massive line for souvenirs, and knowing that I had to have a tshirt, we promptly hit the booze line to get some refreshments for the line up that took just over 90 minutes to buy our rockstar memorabilia. Looking back from our point of sale, the line had nearly tripled. Long line... very long. Anyways, it was then time for a very delicious corndog. 12 inches of delicious.

As we headed back to the drink line for another refreshing long island, a rush of noise overhead alerted us to the beginning of the show... yes, our very own Snowbirds did three passes over the crowd. Amazing. They were so low and going so close together, damn. So, we headed in to the sound of Three Days Grace. Now, had I been there just for Three Days Grace, I would almost would have been satisfied. They are an amazing band and played all their good shit, as well as a lot of stuff off their new album, which I must say I downloaded and am enjoying currently.

They played for almost an hour then left the crowd to our own devices for a little wihle. Eventually the stands became a cheering behemoth that offered up over 20 rounds of the wave. The crowd was getting quite frenzied and as I got back from the porta potties the lights went off and I'm sure they could probably hear us in Moose Jaw.

A fireworks display and the drum beat of Paint it Black opened up with Mick Jagger... Yes, Mick Fucking Jagger coming out onto the 9 story tall stage. Over ninety feet of screens, speakers, lights and extra seating! This thing was massive. Anyways, they played for an hour and a half straight. The stage moved out right past me, and me and Keith Richards shared a moment... or else he was passing out, I'm not sure. Either way, we had something there. A few songs out in the depths of the field and the stage retracted to a set of a giant inflatable lips hanging from the stage.

Fire jets and more great hits. The Stones were definitely impressive. Mick can only be described as 'fabulous'. I'm not sure what drag queen he ripped those jackets and blouses off of, but only the biggest rock star on Earth, ie him... could make that look cool. And for 63 he can run.

The same couldn't be said for Keith Richards, who smoked almost an entire pack of cigs, half while he was singing T&A.

There was tons more, but this is getting lengthy. I'll post more later, as I'm sure you can't wait to hear it.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

You make the caption

Lets get a little interactive here. Here's the picture... now you make the caption.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006


Hey readers... I'm going to Mexico. Come December, I'll be sitting in my speedo baring my snow white ass to the world on the beaches of Cancun. Free drinks, free food, and free time, I can't wait.

This will be my first international trip. At 22, I'm crossing out of my nation's borders for the first time ever, how fucking lame is that? Anyways, it'll be spectacular. And I'm sure you're all jealous, unless you're coming with me, then fuck yeah. If you're not, you should come. We need to book by Friday with a deposit. Let me know or whatever. The more the merrier, right? Yeah... anyways, not much else to write, just that I'm fucking awesome and Mexico is gonna rock.

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Tragic News

First Steve Irwin gets stabbed by that villain of a stingray, and now this.

"Late Monday afternoon as he was crossing Sesame Street to run to Mr. Hooper's store, Cookie Monster was struck by an east bound school bus. Mr. Monster was on his way to buy a box of, you guessed it, chocolate chip cookies. Unfortunately for him those cookies sent him to his grave. As police arrived on the scene children were crying and laying cookies from their own school lunches around him.

"It was so sudden, why has he been taken from us?" said a 5 year old girl, who asked not to be named.

Mr. Monster was allegedly so distracted in his lust for cookies that he forgot a very important lesson, to look both ways. The driver blamed the noisy school children, angle of the sun and a terrible hangover for his lack of attention that lead to Cookie's death. No charges have been laid.

"I just wanted some damn cookies, now I'm gonna have to get them myself. Fucking 'tard, never send a blue monster to do a green monster's job!" said long time companion Oscar the Grouch. "In hindsight, I always knew cookies would be that boy's tomb."

A memorial service will be held on Thursday. In lieu of flowers, guests are asked to bring a plate of cookies or a donation to be made to the Canadian Diabetes Association in his honour."

Monday, October 2, 2006


Check out Brendawg's Blog... its in my links section, so check that shit out.

Wing Nuts

That place is fucking expensive, but damn their wings are good. I had some sitting in my fridge that Lance got me on Friday. However, due to my disgusting diarrhea and vomiting fest, I was unable to enjoy them until today. F-ing good.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Shitty Week

So I've had a shitty week. Literally, filled with feces. It started off with a cold. This was compounded by hours of group work and late late nights. Eventually my cold progressed to my GI tract. By Thursday things were reaching equilibrium (ie. things coming out as fast as they could go in) and then progressed to negative balance. By Friday I was vomiting as well. Saturday I was feeling a little light headed and on the verge of a seizure. I decided that Gatorade and Pedialyte weren't cutting it. My mom to the rescue, we went to RUH, where I promptly vomited in the front door. At least it got me some attention.

After 3L of NS, D5W and some gravol, I slept for 6 hours in the hallway of the ER.
Still, the problem persists, although I don't feel quite as tingly and parched. We're waiting on C. diff tests, but I'm pretty sure I don't have the dreaded colitis. Anyways, thats why I've been so late with putting more stuff on here, and why I've missed a few group meetings.